This Was Supposed To Be

This was supposed to be a blog about how a female in her 50s could do so much.  However, since I started a very short time ago, events have overtaken me.

The cat still ignores the igloo, I am still not smoking but my father may be dying.  Something I didn’t realise until now is that when things happen in my family, as an only child, it’s up to me.  There is no one else to take up the slack, to look after my mother and my child.  I am the one who must deal with such things.

I am exhausted, I am drained and I have nothing left, except for the love of my father.

This love will carry me through, whether he makes it or not, I will be there for him and for my family.  He is not terminal yet, we have 48hrs before a decision will be taken – it is post operative pneumonia – I know that is not good, I have faith in the NHS.

My father brought me up to be a fighter, now he needs my power and he can have it in spades.  Just let him make it through, I don’t know how I will keep my mother going if he doesn’t.

To anyone reading this, if you have faith, please pray, light a candle, give us your thoughts.  I have never been religious but I do believe in a higher power and if you can give us any of that, I would appreciate it.

Fingers crossed, in faith and love from Scotland xx

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