How many times have we as women sat feeling guilty because we haven’t done some obsolete housework that we were taught at a young age we should do?
For those of us in the midlife range, our grandmothers spent most of their day keeping the house and family. Our mothers very often were some of the first to routinely work and keep house and family.
I distinctly remember being told we could have it all in the 80s. Not only could we work, we could become managers, leaders and “Superwomen”. Not only could we have a family, we could have a family who did extra activities and we would be there with our Filofax keeping track.
Well I refuse to feel guilty any more.
First and foremost I am a single parent, through choice. I love my child to bits and would do anything to make her life better. When she was young this included working full time to pay the rent and the childminder whilst trying to give her the best life possible.
My mother and I had always had disagreements about the way I kept house. I did not feel it was important to have every surface clear at every moment and all my washing done, ironed and put away as soon as it appeared.
This had caused arguments when I was younger and now meant that I just didn’t invite my mother to my house. It was easier that way.
Tonight, I had gone through to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. It’s Sunday night, I go back to my office job tomorrow morning. I felt guilty that my kitchen wasn’t perfect and the surfaces wiped down. This guilt still hits so often, even when there is no earthly need for me to feel guilty.
I need to say to everyone that feels the same way I do, as if they should be some kind of Superwoman. Stop it! Stop it right now.
On Friday I was ill with a stomach bug, on Saturday morning I was at a community event, on Saturday evening I was at a bike event. Today I went to church in the morning and got home about lunchtime.
I am allowed to have a few hours to myself to do things that I want to do, like write for my websites, have a hot bath and generally have some relax time.
It really is time we stopped feeling guilty for not spending every spare moment clearing up and trying to live up to out of date expectations.
I have washed my clothes for work next week, that is the most I need to do to get me into tomorrow. That they will not be ironed into razor sharp creases does not bother me any more. There are dishes needing done in the sink, I am not going into the kitchen to do tidying tonight, they can wait until I come back from work tomorrow.
I am one of those who falls out of bed and barely touches the side as I run to work. Tomorrow night will be fine.
Therefore, I am going to sit here in my tracksuit with my furry slippers and a hot cup of tea and I am going to relax. I hope anyone else who has that niggling feeling of guilt will let it go and join me.
Have a good Sunday night everyone.