Prime of Midlife

I Refuse To Have The Crisis
Saying Goodbye To The Family Home

Saying Goodbye To The Family Home

In the almost 6 months since I last posted, there have been some huge changes in my life.  Most have been difficult but as things have levelled out, things are becoming easier and I am now finding some time to myself again.

The last time I wrote, the skip was due to arrive at my parent’s house.  Some of that was easy to do, some of it not so much.  As I walked towards the skip with my old sheepskin panda that was given to me by my father’s mother whom I don’t remember, I burst into tears.  Suffice to say, the panda is now sitting on a stool in bedroom.

Books, my mother was an avid reader, I didn’t have space to keep all the books at my house.  When my partner started packing up the books, I had to walk away and have a moment.  I knew I couldn’t keep them all but that didn’t stop me feeling distraught at the thought of giving them away. 

Thankfully once the house was cleared, it didn’t take long to sell and the buyer was very understanding of the difficulties I was having removing the last items.  Eventually the only thing left was to hand over the keys and ride the last motorbike out of the garage.  Thankfully my daughter came with me and we managed that without breaking down in a heap.

My parents are now settled in their respective care homes.  The differing personalities and the effects of dementia mean that it is necessary to keep them apart.  My dad is a happy relaxed person whereas my mother has become anxious and demanding.  It would be unfair on my father to have him upset by my mother’s demands when he is struggling himself.  I visit them both at the end of my work week and make sure they have everything they need.

We haven’t told my father that the house has been sold.  He barely remembers who I am nowadays and his attachment and dedication to that house was legendary.  He was so proud of his home and it would devastate him to know that it was now no longer in the family.

Now I just need to make sure that I have all the paperwork up to date with all their bank accounts, subscriptions and all that other minutia that goes on in the background of our lives.

It hasn’t been easy but it has been doable and for now, we just keep doing what is needed.

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