Prime of Midlife

I Refuse To Have The Crisis
When Your Child Teaches You To Appreciate Yourself

When Your Child Teaches You To Appreciate Yourself

How many of you have watched inspirational movies to get you through the next stage of whatever is happening in your life?  You know the ones I mean, mostly targeting teens and young adults to show them what can be done if they just try hard enough.  I have a few go to movies for when I need that little extra push.

Rudy of course is the all time favourite, then there is Remember the Titans, Finding Forrester, Erin Brockovich, Freedom Writers, Shawshank Redemption etc etc.  That is until last night, last night I had a moment.  A very simple moment but a moment nonetheless.

Let me tell you how it came about –

When I came back home after my visit to Helensburgh Chamber of Commerce as their invited speaker on Tuesday night I was exhausted. I let myself in the door, locked it behind me and headed straight upstairs and got on my pjs and got into bed.

I had a text from my daughter asking me to call, so I did.  She asked me to stay awake as she wanted to hear about Helensburgh.

10 minutes later she came bursting into my room and asked how the evening had gone.  When I said it had gone well she held up her hand and ran out of the room.  Returning moments later with a beautiful plant, a huge bar of chocolate and a card.

The card was a congratulations card with the words “You did it!” at the bottom.  Inside she had written a message that I thought was very nice but assumed was her trying to make me feel good.

“Well done on your talk, although I wasn’t there I bet you were amazing as always.  I could not have made a better more ambitious mother if I tried and I am proud to be your daughter.  To Mummy, you are amazing, love Kaat.”

That was Tuesday night.  On Saturday night, which was last night my daughter came home from work and we were chatting for a while before she went to her room.  She had been helping a friend who had been having difficulties with a shop over something.  It was almost at the stage of escalation and she offered to go have a word on her friend’s behalf before having to pay for lawyers etc.

What she said next completely floored me.

Before she went into the shop, she took some deep breaths and said to herself, “just be your mother, be your mother, be your mother”.  This seemingly gave her the confidence to go and do what she wanted, and she got things resolved for her friend.

I had laughed and said I was flattered and that is when she told me that if she ever needs a boost of self confidence or attitude to get her through something, she thinks about how I would deal with it and that gets her through.

Now at that moment I could have done what has often been done and thrown cold water on her idea but why would I?  I am honoured that my daughter feels I am such a positive role model. Instead I told my daughter that I was glad I had manged to help in some small way.

That got me thinking this morning, how often have we played down our achievements?  How often do we undersell ourselves?  If you are anything like me then probably very often.

It’s time to be honest with ourselves and celebrate our lives.  As a single working mother I have managed to keep a roof over our head and food on the table.  That is an achievement and one that I am proud of.  There are many other things I have done that I should be proud of rather than discounting as just something I did.

We have all done things that we should be proud of and we should allow ourselves to celebrate rather than brush them under the carpet.

If my child is proud of me, then the least I can do is be proud of me too.

No more movies to give me inspiration, I am now going to look at what I have already achieved and spur myself on to achieve more. It’s time to be our own cheerleaders and believe in ourselves.

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