This really is beginning to get old. What part of ″I live in Scotland″ does my body not understand?
In what parallel universe does someone living in Scotland end up being wakened at 5am by the irritation of sweat dripping off the end of their nose? It’s 5am, it is Baltic outside, what on earth is my body thinking?
In situations like this you do what any self respecting female would do. You grab the towel sitting discreetly by the side of the bed and dry yourself off. As you are doing this with one hand the other is throwing back the duvet with extreme prejudice to allow cool air to try and drop your body temp.
This is bearable for approximately 30 seconds, maybe a minute at most, before your body realises that it’s Scotland at 5am and starts popping goose bumps and shivering. You pull the duvet back over yourself and enjoy that 15 seconds of sheer bliss before the sweat starts popping out on your forehead again.
No need to wonder why Scottish women of a certain age are often grumpy. We don’t sleep properly, we run hot and cold all night and we are now the only woman in the place wearing a t-shirt whilst everyone else is wearing thermals.
Then to top it all, when my darling other half comes to stay from London, he is like a furnace. I don’t know what happened to him, but he is like a storage heater. He must absorb every bit of heat he meets throughout the day and then radiate it from his skin at night.
Is it not bad enough that I waken during the night with hot flushes on my own? Now when he visits I am awake 3 or 4 times because I am melting into a puddle of sweat. No sexy nightwear for me, it really doesn’t do you any favours when your satin nightdress is stuck to you in various places as the sweat drips off your body.
Originally, I had thought I would be safe from night sweats, you know, Scotland being rather cold and all that. It seems I thought wrong, it seems I thought very wrong indeed.